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shower mohawk
Mar 19, 2003
12:50 pm

'I know you wanna make more love, the kind that lingers like a bad song...' - Luke Doucet

Yesterday was much too much of a beautiful day [a la Michael Kulas, which I listened to at work because of said beautiful day]. Sunshine + blue sky + thirteen degrees above zero. Polka-dotted skirt + kitten on the new veranda + dancing in the sun. Downtown + walking up Rideau Street, looks from and for cute indierockboys that follow me/I follow to Record Runner. Pick up the new Songs: Ohia. Order iced drink + sit in the sunshine by the window facing Rideau and Dal. Read adorably intelligent essays about modern life by the illustrious Umberto Eco. Walk back up sun-warmed street to purchase the latest issue of Adbusters.

And today, back to zero degrees. Boo hiss.

I'm thinking [once again] of having a Twitch City marathon party. I've threatened to do it in the past and a few more people have expressed interest lately. Which, I must admit, is rather odd, considering how old the miniseries is now. But still, it's Don McKellar! Eep! So, sometime. Probably summer-ish. It'll be grand. Maybe combine it with a few episodes of Odd Job Jack, heh.

I'm going to lift the rest of this [edited] from a letter I just sent the aussie-bro. Mainly because it says everything I want to say, in a more personal format than I've been apt to use here lately. Go:

meh. i dont know what to do for the summer. i cannot decide if i want to take a whole bunch of classes or one or two or none [but i dont think none; id get too bored]. or work where i am. or find something else. or work two jobs. or aim for government. maybe ill just come to australia for the summer. heh. maybe i can scam the arts council for a grant to go and write in adelaide for four months. hahaha. oh, wouldn't that be nice, eh? ok, snap. wake up, jess. you have to make money, not jerk off for the whole summer. ha ha. fricken capitalism.

im joking. sort of.

i get to see one of my musical heroes tonight, so im pretty stoked at the moment. aside from the fact that he is one of the sweetest, kindest people in the world, he writes excellent songs. a la ron hawkins + lowest of the low. that quality + caliber, i mean. fantastic. he's one of my top three. [weakerthans/john k samson, lowest of the low/ron hawkins + he, luke doucet/veal]. pure awesomeness.

places i want/need to visit this summer:

nova scotia
tucson, arizona
lethbridge, alberta
winnipeg, manitoba
australia

that's a long list. ill be lucky if i can fit one in there. maybe i can pull off a cross-canada road trip. i think i just need need need something more than the usual this summer. ive done nothing spectacular, as it were, for... much too long. i haven't even been to toronto since a year ago february. i feel as though im getting boring in my old age. ha ha, old age.

boy is good. who knows what will happen there. as per usual, he's more about the commitment factor than i am. not because im off screwing around with other people or anything, but me + commitment = ahhhhhh in general. heh. but we'll see. im trying not to be a jerk because he really is quite keen. and i started asking myself the other day if i was lying to myself about anything with respect to him. that is, ignoring things about him that i shouldn't ignore just for the sake of telling everyone how wonderful he is. but i really, honestly don't think i am. and i pretty much grilled myself on the subject. that sounds a little multiple-personality, but i think you know what i mean [speaking of, i really want to see david cronenberg's new flick 'spider'. check it out if it plays anywhere there..]. any other boy of the last few years has at least had something that i overlooked but my friends would say 'jess, i dunno about ______' with respect to each one. but all im getting is reassurance and pats on the back, as it were. leah REFUSES to let me fuck it up on purpose because, as she says, 'i think you're good for one another. i WANT you two to be together.' and she has, in the past, told me to NOT to be with someone, so it's not as though her opinion is one of 'whatever... just be with this boy so you'll shut up about him' or anything. so... yeah. and everyone else says pretty much the same thing. even when i explain something to someone that seems like it could be a bad thing, they laugh. 'jess, he's exactly like you. you do the same stupid things.' ahhhhhhhh and it's true.

i dunno. i don't think ive ever had such... universal approval. that sounds kind of bad as well, as though i need this approval to allow myself to do this, but... hmm. do you know what i mean? it's not that that approval is necessary, but it reassures me that im not stumbling into something that ill regret. err..

ok. rambling complete, i think. i think what im trying to say is this is the first time in a long while that things have just felt RIGHT and comfortable, without any sort of niggling feeling asking me 'what are you doing? you'll regret this.' im not saying it can't go wrong or anything that blatantly naive, but... i dunno. it seems pretty a+ at the moment. and sure sure, i know, it's the beginning and everything's always rosy at the start; i certainly don't deny that. wait, i said i was finished rambling, didn't i?

End letter, more or less. That was excessively long. Blame the caffeine intake. Luke Doucet, I cannot wait. There is no words to describe how exciting I am right now. Except maybe the ones I used last time I saw The Weakerthans or Ron Hawkins. Eek!

'I'll be drinking from your tongue' - Danny Michel

the bottom line is love