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shower mohawk
Jan 21, 2001
11:58 pm

'Where are you now, with floodlights down?' - Ron Hawkins

[I really missed this place]

Please, all I ask is that you stop showing up around me. You, of all people, are not supposed to still be here. Your name on my contact list just doesn't make sense.

You're supposed to be dead. At least, that's what I was told.

Yet... just the other day, I saw you toddling down the street at the same pace you always did... excruciatingly slow. You looked at me curious, I looked at you even curiouser, both of us trying to figure out why the other was there. [I still haven't figured it out]. You, still carrying your notebook, as faithful as ever. Me, still as stupid and lost as ever.

And now you show up again. You're not supposed to be here. Yours was still the present that made my eighteenth birthday worthwhile so many years ago. I still have it. I still cherish it. Yes, I still read it and smell it just to think I still have a connection with you.

I can't convey what you still do to me after this time spent apart. I still get shivers when they mention you. I thought I didn't love you anymore. Or, rather, I don't think I ever did. At least, that's what I try to tell myself to distance my heart from yours.

And Denis tonight. Who once called me a goddess and meant it. I miss you.

'Hold me up, you renaissance junkie' - Ron Hawkins

the bottom line is love