You know that feeling of elation that pervades after you kiss someone for the first time? How your stomach flutters when you recall the kiss... How your mind replays it over & over & over again, telling you just how perfectly the two of you fit together, tongue teeth & lips?
Well, I hate that feeling. Dread it, actually. When I feel it taking over, I can do nothing but hibernate from the person in question. I criticize others for falling too hard too fast, but I'm worse than all of them. ALL of them. The only difference between them and me is... I don't let myself do it. If I'm falling for someone, I make myself back away. It's that whole anti-relationship thing, ya know?
Because lord knows the last thing in the world I want is a boyfriend. Even if he is the most perfect boy. The prettiest. The smartest. The most adorable. The most sensual kisser. Not to mention the most penetrating, beautiful big eyes. [When you don't actually have to deal with the person, it's so easy to paint them Rosy & Grey].
I am so pathetic. Somebody shoot me.
'All for the sake of a foolish love' - Rufus Wainwright
