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shower mohawk
Dec 05, 2000
04:18 pm

'Say that you'll stay for one more year...' - Weakerthans

Toronto Part 2? It might help explain my entry last night, which was a little scattered and confusing to say the least. Ignore it, unless you're involved in it. And trust me, you'd know if you were involved in it, so don't bother asking me.

Anywaaaaaaaay, last I left you we were having a mass orgy in the Holiday Inn in Barrie, right? Oh wait, maybe I left that part out... so, after much whining about having to get out of bed [it was so warm and cozy and happy and oooh], we were off... to Toronto. Well, downtown from Barrie anyway. I have never been more happy driving down Yonge St. Oooh sweet release.

We drove and drove and drove around downtown until we were so sick of driving, we had to walk. Actually, only Iain was sick of driving because hey, I don't drive. After much wandering around of Ryerson's campus, we found notre amie Mel. And she gave us OJ. Mmm... Just what we needed, us poor little sick things. Hahaha! Oh, did I mention all the pretty boys in the elevators? Mmm mmm good, as Chris Murphy would say. Not as grrreat as York, but ya know...

Bored bored bored... off we went to... oh yes... Queen St. West. Talk about orgasmic. Oh how I've missed that street!!!! We found the 'old' Modrobes store, but it was all sad cause it's turned into a stock-holder. Awwww! But it was still pretty. And then directed us to the 'new' location [like I needed to be directed ha!].

Howeverrrr, my whole purpose for going to Toronto [besides just going to Toronto in general] was to get my superdupercool flame docs that I've been looking at for like 3 years now and never bought. So, we're walking along Queen, both of us taking in all the pretty sexxxsi Toronto boys, then Iain drags me into a shoe store. Lucky for him, it was the one I always go into! Yeehah! Sooo blah blah fucking blah I try on the shoes, I'm about to go up to the cash and then I hear 'Jess...?'. I look up and it's.... Maria! My friend Maria that I always see when I'm in Toronto, no matter what! It was beyond fantastic. Yaaaaaaay happy! Iain was like 'I can't believe you ran into one of your friends! You do know more people in Toronto than in Ottawa!'. He thought it was the greatest and damnit, I did too! I love Maria!

Then it was on to the Condom Shack. Oh yes, the sweet, hilarious Condom Shack. But we had a mission for going there. We weren't just going to be silly and immature and do nothing but crack jokes about the people in there. Iain's roommate had asked us to get her a vibrator. No, seriously! hahaha. So it was insane. We're in the store, looking at all the vibrators and saying things like 'well, I don't know if she'd like this one. She said she wanted a really big one...' The girl at the cash thought we were insane! And, well, we were cause then we pulled the 'we're a desperate, crazy teenage couple' and started 'suggesting' things to one another. hahaha. Ohhh, the looks we got. More priceless than those stupid Mastercard commericials. Yes indeed!

So, we found a shimmery, silver vibrator for Cindy [which she loved hahaha] and lucky for us, the 'new' Modrobes store was just next door. Rrrock! Oh my soul, I just about died when I walked into that place. Sweet, soft hardwood floors, a DJ spinning kickass tunes in the back and... everything modrobe. Yowza, plain and simple. I was dying. But I managed to calm down enough to buy a pair of the new style Switch. Yummyfur! They are hot sex in back rows.

So, Iain was feeling pretty down and needed to be cheered up. 'You know what'll cheer me up, Juiceica' he said to me, 'shopppppping!' So off we went to Eaton's Centre. But not before admiring all the pretty boys wandering through the streets and the lovely MuchMusic building. We mutually agreed [& decided] that 90% of the boys in Toronto are pretty. And it's sooooooo true. We also figured out that it'll be perfect when we move there next year because whatever guys Iain doesn't get, I get. And whatever guys I don't get, Iain gets. Perrrfect! I think we both just about dropped dead in our tracks when we saw a few of them. Oh my soul. 'Hold me back, or I'll have to have everyone I see!'

Eaton's Centre. The new Eaton's in that place... holy crap. Talk about high class, elite, and fucking sexxxsi. We were both going nuts through the men's elite section finding clothes to cheer up. In the end, Iain spent 300$ on 3 articles of clothing. But damn, they were sexxxsi. How could we resist!? I want to live in that store.

Oh, did I forget to mention the dirty diner we ate in on Queen St? I thought the last place I ate at in T.O. was really bad... but this one was worse. Like, the bathroom doors didn't even lock. Yowza. And we're sitting there, me with my vegetarian lasagna, Iain with his trademarked club [hahaha], and Iain starts speaking french so the people around us wouldn't understand us. Why? Cause, goddamnit, we were talking about how good looking they were. We were such sluts. But you love it. I know you do.

So, the day was closing for us, even though the stores weren't. So, sadly, we left the city... but not without agreeing to come back asap. The whole trip actually ended in chaos with Iain's parents because he indirectly came out to them [not by accident or anything, but by them being... assoholic, I guess]. So we were all emotionally wrecked driving back to Ottawa. And, to tell you the truth, I still am. But not only for that reason. In any case, Iain claims it was his best trip to Toronto yet and I have to say, I pretty much agree. No harsh feelings, no bitterness as so many of my other trips have had. It was heaven. And to think... we'll be living there together in less than a year.

That is probably the most boring story I've ever told. It's just so much better in person. Damn. And with all the inside jokes intact. Ah well. Suffer me.

Oh yes. And don't forget the Weakerthans chat tonight at inSound at 9 pm EST. Softy rrrock!

'Maybe we'll never go insane
You always said we would
Sometimes I wished we could
With you lying naked in the rain,
Singing Boney M' - Weakerthans

the bottom line is love