Oooooh... this is gonna be a long one.
Where oh where do I begin this sordid tale? Yowza. Talk about one insane weekend. We'll forget about the Dears and the Polytones [despite how fantastic they were. rrrrock!]. I did some fun fun fun xmas shopping with ma mere all day Saturday and I was going to go see Cecil B. Demented and Almost Famous that night. Until Iain called. Sweet, darling, lovely Iain.
'Jess, do you wanna go to Toronto tonite?'
[mass fainting] 'You're kidding! You're joking with me! Shut up!' [etc]
'No, I'm serious. I'll come get you in half an hour.'
Sooo the reason he [being Iain] was going to Toronto was to drive his roommate [Cindy] to see her daughter [Danielle] in Toronto. Danielle lives in Halifax, but was in Toronto for 2 days because she was going to Costa Rica and was flying out of T.O. And they [Cindy & Danielle] hardly ever see each other, so Cindy asked Iain to take her to Toronto for the night/day so she could see her daughter. Woo rock! Did I mention her daughter is a lesbian and was going to Costa Rica with her lovely partner? Oh yes. Rock n roll lifestyle.
Annnyway, the drive itself was utterly insane. We were all so dirty and bad and man it was gooooood. hahaha! I don't think any of us said a clean sentence once. And we listened to Madonna, Madonna, Madonna, some more Madonna, and then some classic Nova Scotia songs... to which we were all singing along at the top of our lungs. Woo! It ended in complete disarray when we arrived in Barrie, where we were supposed to find a hotel to stay. Oh yes. Finding a hotel. Right. At 2 am in fucking smalltown Barrie.
We found the 'commercial main street' of Barrie... but do you think there was a hotel/motel anywhere along it? Hell no! So instead, we just drove around and around and around and I tried to convince them to let me go play in the 24 hour Sobey's. They were laughing their asses off when I said 'c'mon... the one in Antigonish is sooo much fun at 2 am!' Yesssssssssss. But really, it is! hahaha. We were just about to sleep under the tent for the carts at Wal-Mart, when we figured out we could just ask the gas station attendant where to go. So we asked him and man was he fucked up. He was standing and playing with the automatic doors, open close open close open close. Psychooooo.
Holiday Inn. Ooooh sweet dirty hotel sheets. So me, being the dirty whore that I am, slept with Iain. Right, did I mention he was gay? So shush. There was no 'so, when are we gonna make out?' cracks. hahaha. But there was plenty of me cuddling up to him to steal body heat. Because that's what I do best. Steal body heat. Woo! Oh yes and lots of serious pouring out of hearts. Damn us!
Speak of the devil, as Iain just put it 'we just can't sit still! we're sooooooo Toronto!'. What does that mean? We're going out to lunch. hahaha! So consider this part one. A boring part one, but part one nonetheless. Ha!
'I've fallen in love with a new girl' - Brundlefly
