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shower mohawk
Nov 20, 2000
03:34 pm

'She said, let me go
& I will want you...' - Cake

How many times must I reiterate to people that relationships suck suck suck? Seriously, no one's ever happy by the end of it all. Hence why I tend to avoid them at all costs, except when I get weak and sorta fall into one and have to deal with the consequences. Yes, I know how to love someone, but I don't like to. It's messy and unnatural and too hurtful. That's not to say I don't love people, I just don't let them know about it most of the time, or else keep it platonic. But that, in and of itself, has its problems as well cause no one likes a purely platonic relationship... except maybe me.

Anyway, get to the chase, Jess. I've got one close friend who I've been sorta warned is out to chase me. Oh yeah. Just what I need, to be someone else's Rushmore again. Yippee. This one's got me freaked out though because he's a tad unrelenting to say the least and I can't stand to let myself hurt him... he's just too sweet. And if that's by itself isn't enough to deal with, the friend who introduced us two in the first place is 'jealous' of the attention. Christ! You think I want it? Take it, please.

That's minor compared to what happened last night, though. It was actually quite the fun evening until I fit it all together this morning. I went to see Zuckerbaby, which was happy enough by itself cause hey, it's Zuckerbaby! And Leah and I were having a grand ol' time... then, out of nowhere, out pops Craigmaster, Shannon, Annie, Heather, and Matt. Yikes! Talk about blast from the past! But it was happy cause Shannon and I used to go to Zuckerbaby concerts together before, so it was really really nice to see them. And Craig is her boyfriend whom I was never really allowed to see after a point because I was told he had a 'thing' for me. Anywayyyyyy, I was all happy to see them all and whatnot. Blah blah fucking blah.

The night goes on and I spend most of it talking to Craig cause I love that boy dearly and I miss him when I don't see him. So, nothing unusual for me. I was a little worried about Shannon getting pissed at him for talking to me, but I figured I hadn't seen him in a while, so I had the right. Everything's hunky dory and we all went out for pitas after the show. Everything's all right, right? Wrong.

I invited Craig to stay downtown with me cause his bus had stopped running but he was like 'nah, I shouldn't. my parents would kill me.' So I didn't really think anything of it. Then I get home this morning and there's a message from Shannon saying 'Craig broke up with me, I thought you should know. I know it didn't look it last night, but I was really sad and I don't think he is at all.' and the like... To add to the spiciness, I'm supposed to be going to the Tragically Hip concert with them in like 2 weeks. Talk about problems ensuing...

Go ahead. Whine some more. Geez Louise! I'm making myself sick with all this. Later kittens. Forgive me for this venting.

'I've waited for her for soooo long
I've wondered if I could hang on...' - Cake

the bottom line is love